Perspective changes with age, and that’s just a fact. Growth, life experiences, health issues, relationships, parenting, and all of the other stuff that comes with another trip around the sun, starts to look different. With every life lesson or circumstance, comes a new lens. It’s like an internal version of the device at the eye doctor that clickity clacks every time a new prescription strength lands in front of your eyes.
“Which is easier to read? One, or two. One…….orrrrr two.”
It’s just like that, but the lenses that switch during mid-life are more indicative of mental perspective shifts. I mean, let’s keep it real though because your vision goes to shit to. It’s like the second you turn 40, you need readers. Let me tell you, the plight of a middle-aged woman who has been through some shit and is now deep in the valley of menopause, is like a masterclass in the whole idea of perspective and I come with proof. Stone cold facts. Case in point – there is no better place to dissect this theory than TJ Maxx (or Marshall’s, HomeGoods, Homesense, and the rest of them.)
These brick-and-mortar retailers are a goddamn treasure trove of delights that scratch the random itches of middle-aged women everywhere. I happen to live minutes away from a spectacular TJ Maxx that has actually gone viral (not kidding) on TikTok for its magical wares. Nestled deep in the suburbs of Boca Raton, between all the Orange Theory, Soul Cycle, and miscellaneous yogalatesbarrecore-esque establishments, lies my preferred place to get my steps in instead. It’s at this very special TJ Maxx that I slightly disassociate while I peruse the aisles of Korean skincare, every scent of hand soap you can imagine, and candles. So many delicious candles to choose from. It’s like all of the specialty toiletries you can possibly gather into one store at discounted prices, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
If you ever told me back when I wore tube tops and CK One, that I would one day gleefully saunter into a TJ Maxx and legitimately get excited by the selection of epsom salts, I would have thrown my Malibu and pineapple straight from the red solo cup into your face. Epsom salts are a gift from the heavens and soaking my muscles and joints that ache from age, life, and various medications is a bliss I cannot say enough about. Don’t even get me started on when they stock new scents. What’s not to love about the little grains of magic that deliver magnesium, melatonin, or both, to all of the places that need it most. Would I have ever spent my money on easy-to-reseal bags of epsom salts in my 20s? Hell. No. I sure as hell make it rain with my money in the last year of my 40s though.
You know what other joys are just out there in the wild in any number of these discount hot spots? Egg drawers. I am not kidding. Did I need it? No. Will it make my ADHD-fueled rage organizing extra productive to remove each egg from the carton and place it delicately in an acrylic tray and slide effortlessly into a bigger piece of acrylic? Never did I consider putting my eggs on display so that they welcome me every time I open my refrigerator but I can never go back. Those organic eggs that now cost a small fortune because of inflation deserve to be on display in their ergonomic and BPA free pedestal. You showcase your designer purses in a specially designed closet. I showcase my eggs. We are not the same.
A couple of weeks ago, I actually scored a major win on a TJ’s excursion. I have three words for you. HAMPER.ON.WHEELS. How did I ever live without this sorcery? Now instead of dragging giant laundry baskets from room to room, I gracefully glide throughout my home, collecting all my family’s clothing shrapnel into the wheeled laundry chariot. It’s almost like roller skating without the threat of falling and breaking an ankle, arm, or even hip, god forbid. The minute I feel the wrought iron handle meet my palm, my entire mood changes as I swirl around like a Disney princess who talks to squirrels, grabbing socks, underwear, and towels, so many towels. It’s a type of happiness I didn’t even know I needed in my life.
Therapy is great. But have you ever walked into a Homegoods with no plan, and exited with fresh new bedding, an anti-fatigue kitchen mat, a jewelry dish shaped like a clam, a water flosser, cabana clips, tortoise shell readers, a drain catch to collect shedding hair in the shower, chip clips with Dolly Parton’s face, and OMG WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE. Also, pro-tip: every so often, consider enjoying a gummy before your next shopping expedition, or as I like to call it, the THC Maxx experience. It really elevates the whole situation.
Everything I ever thought about getting older was a lie I told myself. It’s glorious. I love a 5:30 pm girl’s dinner that gets me home and in bed before 9:00pm. Tell me we are wearing leggings and no makeup and that’s even better. And yes, I derive immense joy from shopping for odds and ends nobody asked for. It’s a whole vibe and I’m into it. There’s no denying the perspective awakening to seeing the fun in simple pleasures once you enter the second half of your life. I’m an unapologetic middle-aged Maxxinista and that’s just that.
Rachel Sobel is an award-winning writer, author, speaker, do-over wife and mom to two girls. She is also the creator and cohost of the lifestyle podcast, Friends Without Benefits alongside the Miami Heat in-arena host, Uptown Dale. Rachel has appeared on NPR, The Doctors, The Tamron Hall Show and The Kelly Clarkson Show (Rachel is still not fully recovered from Kelly calling her hilarious on national television). Her Instagram account, @whineandcheezits has garnered more than 100K followers and has become a community of women who rely on each other to commiserate about life, marriage, kids and now more than ever, middle age!
