Marni Sclaroff, MAT, ERYT 500
Photo Credit: Ryan Bannon
When I was pregnant with my twins, and steeped in the world of pregnancy and new motherhood, I was surrounded by the ridiculous and harmful idea of ”getting your pre-baby body back”.
I call this idea ridiculous and harmful, because giving birth to a baby changes you on every level. Your body changes physiologically, cellularly, emotionally and spiritually. You are no longer a singular person, and your body has become this incredible portal of life and magic.
You have walked through a one-way door. There is no turning back.
Becoming a mother changes you. It is one of the great, life-altering thresholds that brings new challenges and new opportunities for deeper love, connection, and joy.
This idea of getting your old body back is a toxic cultural paradigm that keeps women disconnected from the inherent wisdom that lives in the cells of our bodies.
I am now in my fifties, and I notice the same toxic story spiraling around concerning menopause. As our bodies change again, we cling to ideas about staying the same and reverse aging.
The toxic paradigm tells us:
“Women are not allowed to be wise, women are not allowed to change or to grow or to be fully themselves. Women’s bodies must look a certain way forever.”
If you are lucky enough to be alive long enough to stand at the threshold of becoming an elder, Menopause will give you exactly what you need to become who you are meant to be, and exactly what the world needs.
It is a sacred and ancient initiation that transforms you completely. You are no longer tied to the monthly cycle. You are free to create a new version of yourself.
Who do you want to be NOW?
In many earth-based traditions, menopause is not something to fear. It is honored as a time when a woman can shift her energy and attention towards wisdom and deep inner knowing.
A postmenopausal woman is recognized as a wellspring of wisdom and a gift to the community.
But, it is not for the faint of heart.
Your body will change, your heart will shift, your view of the world will crumble. Menopause is a process of letting go. It is a radical transformation that challenges you on every level.
In our cultural conversation about menopause, we talk about “symptoms” as if menopause is some kind of disease.
It is true that a woman’s body is changing, and change requires a shift in the balance. The body will adjust, and sometimes these adjustments are uncomfortable and painful.
The beauty of menopause is that it is a process. There is a flow. It is hard for many of us to trust the flow.
There is an old proverb: Don’t push the river, it flows by itself.
Can you feel when you are pushing against life? Change will happen, sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and let the river carry us.
Aren’t you tired of fighting against nature? Look at the trees. See how they twist and curve and allow themselves to become more beautiful as they age. We are beautiful as we age.
It’s been two years since my last period.
I recently decided to stop coloring my hair. My silver is shining through. People are treating me differently. I like it. I feel more confident than before.
There is no part of me that wants to go backward. I’ve learned valuable and challenging lessons along the way.
In my own journey through menopause, I recognized that certain foods have become intolerable. I also noticed that I need to eat more protein and smaller portions of food.
My yoga practice has shifted to include resistance bands and light weights to help support my joints.
I am sleeping less, but need to be outside more often. I have not experienced hot flashes, but I have noticed that I sleep better with a fan on at night.
Your body is different from mine. So, you may need to shift differently than me. There is no “one size fits all” in a natural process.
In my studies of earth-based spiritualities, a menopausal woman is associated with the Crone archetype. The Crone often carries a negative connotation.
But, she is the wise elder, and our world is in desperate need of wise women elders who are unafraid of who they are, and where they’ve been. She is associated with the new moon, and a whole lifetime of accumulated wisdom.
I invite you to recognize menopause as a sacred initiation into your most alive, vital, radiant, and wise self. You are becoming a Sage.
Here are some ways to honor this process:
Tell your body you love her, and thank her for supporting you as she changes!
Move your body every day, even if it's just for 5 minutes.
Make it sacred by creating a ritual to mark this part of your journey. (create a menopause altar, create a vision board for who you want to be as an elder, journal about all the things you have learned so far, gather friends and have a menopause celebration, go on a trip with your wisest friends)
Pay attention to the moon. The moon rules women’s cycles. You can create moon water by leaving a glass of water outside at night under the full moon, and drink it the next day. This will infuse your body with the charged energy of the moon.
Marni Sclaroff is a life coach, writer, artist and yoga teacher who brings a lifelong passion for living a creative and purposeful life to people all over the world. With more than 30 years of experience in the holistic, visual and movement arts, and a Master’s Degree in Art Education, she is well-versed in the languages of artistry and transformation.