The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, but for many of us, they can feel like an emotional minefield. Between the relentless cheer on TV and social media, the empty chairs at our tables, and the sheer exhaustion of trying to “keep it together,” it’s easy to feel like the season is passing us by while we struggle to breathe.
You're not alone if the holidays feel more like a weight than a celebration. And even in the heaviness, there’s hope to be found—if you know where to look.
Let Go of the “Shoulds”
You don’t have to deck every hall, attend every party, or radiate holiday cheer. Let’s be real: “should” is a dangerous word, especially during the holidays. The pressure to live up to traditions or expectations can leave us drained before we start.
You might feel like you should host the perfect dinner, buy the most thoughtful gifts, or keep every family tradition alive. But what if you let those expectations go? What if you permitted yourself to simply be?
Start small. If decorating the whole house feels overwhelming, hang a single wreath or light a candle instead. If cooking an elaborate holiday feast feels impossible, order takeout or simplify the menu. Releasing the “shoulds” frees up space to focus on what truly matters to you— whatever that may be this year.
Remember, the holidays don’t have to look like a Hallmark movie. They can look like whatever feels manageable for you.
Acknowledge the Hard Feelings
Holidays have a way of amplifying everything, especially our emotions. Grief can feel sharper when we see an empty chair at the table. Loneliness can feel heavier when we scroll through social media and see everyone else’s picture-perfect celebrations. Even guilt can creep in when we feel like we’re not doing enough.
It’s important to acknowledge those feelings instead of pushing them aside. Ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear; it buries them until they resurface later.
Try naming your emotions. You can write them down, speak them aloud, or reflect on them quietly. Recognizing what you’re feeling doesn’t mean you must solve it immediately. It simply means allowing yourself to be honest and present with your emotions.
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed. These emotions are a natural part of being human, and you don’t have to apologize for them—especially not during the holidays.
Find Small Sparks of Joy
When the big picture feels bleak, focus on the little things that comfort you. Sometimes, the smallest moments can light up a dark season.
It could be as simple as sipping a cup of hot cocoa wrapped in a cozy blanket or taking a quiet walk to admire holiday lights in your neighborhood. Maybe it’s watching your favorite holiday movie, not because it’s festive, but because it makes you laugh or feel a little lighter.
Small joys don’t have to be extravagant. They just have to be yours. Pay attention to the things that make you feel even a little bit better and lean into those moments.
Think of these sparks as breadcrumbs leading you toward hope. You don’t need a roaring fire of joy to get through the holidays—sometimes, a single candle is enough to light the way.
Set Gentle Intentions for the New Year
Resolutions often involve the pressure to change everything about ourselves overnight. But after a tough year or a tough holiday season, we need gentleness, not reinvention.
Instead of setting grand, sweeping resolutions, consider setting kind and achievable intentions. Think about small ways you can care for yourself in the coming year:
• Take a short walk each day, even if it’s just to the mailbox. Movement doesn’t have to mean marathons.
• Set aside five minutes a day to breathe, journal, or sit in stillness. You deserve that time.
• Say “no” to things that drain your energy. Protecting your peace is a form of self-care. • Celebrate small wins, even if they feel insignificant. Every step forward counts.
Gentle intentions remind you that progress doesn’t have to be dramatic—it just has to move you toward your well-being.
Connect - Even if It’s Imperfect
The holidays can be isolating, but connection doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You don’t need a big gathering or elaborate plans to feel connected to others.
Start small. Send a text to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or share a funny meme that made you laugh. Reach out to someone you trust and let them know how you’re feeling—it doesn’t have to be a deep conversation, just an honest one.
If in-person gatherings feel overwhelming, consider virtual connections. Join an online support group, hop on a video call with loved ones, or even participate in community events that resonate with you. The goal isn’t to surround yourself with people—it’s to find moments of connection that remind you you’re not alone.
Remember, It’s Okay to Start Fresh
One of the most comforting things about the New Year is that it offers a symbolic reset. If the holidays have felt heavy or unmanageable, let January be your fresh start.
You don’t have to have a grand plan or a perfect vision for the year ahead. Sometimes, starting fresh means taking it one day, one hour, or one breath at a time.
Focus on what you can control, no matter how small it seems. Maybe it’s decluttering a drawer, calling a friend, or deciding to rest. Every little step you take is a step toward hope.
A Final Thought
Hope doesn’t always arrive as fireworks or grand gestures. More often, it’s quiet—a whisper in the dark, a flicker of light, a small reminder that you’re still here.
If the holidays feel hopeless, know this: You’re allowed to feel that way. You don’t have to force joy or pretend everything is okay. Let the season pass, and trust that better days are ahead.
You’ve made it through every hard day so far, and you’ll make it through this one, too. The New Year is waiting, full of new moments, new memories, and new chances to find the light.
You’re still here—and that’s a reason for hope.