Orly K.G., Avril Granato, Michelle Krajecki, Jan Slavin
I love being able to have sex in any room I want. I just have to remember to keep fresh batteries on hand.
I have been an empty nester for so long that my feathers have molted and I need a talon replacement.
The next time my kids show up with dirty laundry I’m letting them know I’m mixing it in with my dirty granny underwear.
The best part of being an empty nester is that I can talk back to myself without getting pissed off.
I’m a new empty nester. I moved out. F&%k those kids!
I’ve been an empty nester for two weeks and, I’m thinking maybe… just MAYBE… the mess in the house is mine.
After 18 hushed years, I finally get to have sex with SOUND again! No more sex charades!
It feels like my college-age son and I are on a dating app. Um… Why won’t he text me back?!
If I truly gave my kids wings to fly, why do they keep using all my airline miles?
Empty nesting feels like I was fired from being mom and downgraded to consultant.
For years I blamed the pee on the bathroom floor on my son, once he left I realized it was my husband.
I don’t care what they say, cooking for two is way harder than cooking for four!
My house was the house that ALL the kids would come over to. I knew I would miss my kids when they left, but I wasn’t expecting to miss their friends even more!
My empty nest rarely stays empty. They keep coming back and re-feathering my nest with all their cr*pola.
Now that my adult daughter moved back in I’ve started using her makeup without asking, using her shampoo without returning it to her shower and…I’ve said too much already.
Bad Momz of Comedy is a group of seriously hilarious women and moms. Founded by comic Orly K.G., Bad Momz is currently touring its all-mom comedy show around the country – Indianapolis, Chicago, and North Carolina.