Monica Olano, Founder of Cali Sober Mom
Women are becoming far more sober-curious, and this trend isn’t going anywhere any time soon. There are plenty of data points that explain why, many statistics and studies abound on the topic of alcohol use among women. And, while we’ll dive into each of these explanations, this entire phenomenon can be boiled down to one simple reason:
It’s because we’re utterly exhausted.
We’re tired of juggling everything (careers, kids, households, relationships) and being expected to do it all with a smile. We’re tired of systems that take from us without giving back: unequal pay, lack of parental support, and medical research that ignores our needs.
We’re exhausted by a culture that markets alcohol as the cure-all for stress while conveniently ignoring how it wrecks our health, spikes anxiety, and numbs who we truly are.
For too long, alcohol has been sold as our escape. But more women are waking up to the reality: it doesn’t help us cope. It makes everything harder. And now, we’re turning to alternatives. We’re making choices that heal instead of harm, that let us reclaim our peace without poisoning our bodies.
The Lies ‘Big Alcohol’ Has Sold Us
For years, we’ve been sold the myth that alcohol is a cure-all for the chaos of our daily lives. Nowhere is this more evident than in “mommy wine culture,” where a glass of wine has been marketed as the ultimate stress reliever for women who have been worked to the bone.
But, when you pull back the curtain, you’ll find that the opposite is true.
Alcohol is a Class 1 carcinogen, meaning it’s in the same category as tobacco (and asbestos). It spikes blood sugar, adds empty calories, and increases anxiety, which is one of the problems it’s been said to ease. Financially, the costs add up too: the average American spends $583 a year on alcohol, money that could go toward actual self-care.
Luckily, people are waking up and realizing the reality of our harmful, alcohol-centered culture. Millennials have reduced their drinking by nearly half in the past year, and alcohol consumption across the board is steadily declining.
The Female Relationship With Alcohol: How it Differs From Men
For decades, medical research focused on men, leaving women out of the equation entirely. Conditions like ADHD and autism were studied almost exclusively in boys, perpetuating the myth that these disorders are less common in women. In reality, many women grow up masking their symptoms, only to be diagnosed later in life, often after years of struggling.
This is a massive problem, because these conditions often lead to an increased risk of alcohol misuse. Research shows that over 50% of adults with ADHD may meet the criteria for a substance use disorder at some point, a rate that’s much higher than the general population's 5–15%.
The risks don’t stop there, either. Alcohol uniquely affects women’s health in ways that aren’t fully understood, or even discussed! For example, studies have consistently shown that even moderate alcohol intake can increase breast cancer risk. Women who consume 2-3 alcoholic drinks per day have a 20% higher risk of breast cancer compared to non-drinkers.
For me, the connection between alcohol and my mental and physical health became impossible to ignore. I’d spent years feeling like I was failing, and reaching for alcohol to numb it all. But as I began peeling back the layers of my own struggles through therapy, trauma work, and sobriety, I started to see the bigger picture.
My anxiety wasn’t just “in my head”; it was amplified by a toxic substance that was marketed to me as a solution.
How Cannabis Has Become A Relief For Women
For me, cannabis has been everything alcohol pretended to be but never delivered. It helps me unwind, reduces my anxiety, and actually lets me get a good night’s sleep. With alcohol, I’d wake up anxious, tired, and stuck in the same overwhelming cycle. Cannabis broke that cycle for me, and I’m seeing more women turn to it for the same reasons.
Data backs this up, too: 70% of women use cannabis for relaxation, and nearly as many (69%) say it helps them sleep. Unlike alcohol, which disrupts sleep cycles and increases anxiety, cannabis lets me reset in a way that feels natural and healthy.
This shift isn’t just personal, either; It’s generational. Gen Z women are leading the way, with cannabis use doubling since 2020. For the first time, women in their 20s are outpacing men in cannabis consumption. We’re finally moving away from outdated habits and embracing alternatives that work for us.
I was talking to some friends over dinner recently, a few women ranging from their 30s to their 40s, and we all said the same thing: getting off alcohol and using cannabis has been life-changing, especially in our sexual relationships. Before, I’d be so stuck in my head that I couldn’t even enjoy being with my husband. Now, I can relax, be present, and actually connect with him on a deeper level.
Of course, there’s still a stigma. Decades of the “War on Drugs” made cannabis out to be some dangerous, hard substance, but those old narratives don’t hold up anymore. Women are starting to see the truth and share it, and that’s how we break the cycle of shame and secrecy. By telling our stories, we’re helping each other feel seen and empowered to make healthier choices.
The Makings of A Safer, Sober Future
The next question, as usual, is “What’s next?” Even though great strides have been made, we’re only scratching the surface of what a sober-first society could look like.
Non-alcoholic options have exploded in recent years, and it’s about time. Women shouldn’t have to feel left out or awkward just because they’re choosing not to drink. The demand is clearly there: the non-alcoholic beverages market in the U.S. is expected to grow steadily, with sales projected to hit around $457 million by 2030.
I’ve seen this shift firsthand. My husband and his family own bars, and we’ve talked about how important it is to have quality non-alcoholic options. This shouldn’t be approached as a ‘trend’ because trends are temporary. Bars shouldn’t just be about alcohol. They’re about connection, celebration, and community, and that’s possible with or without booze.
The Power of Speaking Out
The biggest driver of this change isn’t the growing N/A beverage market, the lessening of cannabis stigma, or even better medical research: It’s the stories women are sharing.
Every time I hear another woman speak out about rejecting alcohol, I feel inspired. These stories don’t just impact those in your personal lives. They spread, and they grow, to validate our choices, remind us we’re not alone, and show others what’s possible.
For years, alcohol has dominated social life, but the tide is turning. By sharing our experiences, we’re building a future where sober isn’t just accepted, but rather celebrated.
A sober-first society doesn’t mean everyone has to stop drinking. It means creating spaces, options, and conversations prioritizing health, balance, and authenticity. It means giving people the tools to make decisions that serve them, not ones dictated by marketing or societal pressure. And the more we talk about it, the closer we get to that future.
Monica Olano, founder of Cali Sober Mom, a trusted source to learn about and discover safe and effective cannabis products, host of the Cali Sober Mom Podcast, and cannabis brand ambassador and reform advocate, is the Cali Sober Mom. Monica’s advocacy extends to social justice issues, particularly the socio-economic impacts of cannabis legalization and the disproportionate incarceration of nonwhite individuals for minor drug offenses. Balancing her roles as a mother, entrepreneur, and advocate, she remains committed to promoting healthier alternatives and broader societal change, driven by a desire to challenge harmful industries and improve health and justice outcomes.