New Year’s resolutions usually fail because we make them in a burst of champagne-fueled optimism for what’s ahead and lingering pessimism about the year we just crawled out of—convincing ourselves we’ll wake up on January 1st as entirely new people. The kind who enjoy 6 a.m. workouts, delete TikTok, and suddenly become “a soup person.”
This guide is for the realists. The midlife women who already have enough on our plates and know that do not need another reason to feel like we’re falling short. Here’s how to create New Year’s resolutions that actually have a fighting chance of surviving past week two.
1. Set goals based on your real life, not your Pinterest fantasy life.
If your mornings currently look like a tornado made of teenagers, snacks, and lost mittens, you’re not becoming a sunrise yogi. You might, however, stretch for 30 seconds before you scroll your phone. That counts. Any movement is good movement — and working tiny habits into the chaos is exactly how you keep going.
2. Reduce the bar until it’s laughably low — then lower it again.
Want to read more? Start with a page. Want to work out? Put on leggings and see where the day takes you. If you make it to the gym once this week, congratulations — you’re already exercising more than the majority of adults. Truly. Most people never work out at all, so one session isn’t “bare minimum”… it’s above average.
3. Pick resolutions you actually like.
If your goal feels like punishment, you’re not sticking with it — you’ll ghost it faster than your Planet Fitness membership. Go for things that feel good: a walk with a podcast, produce that won’t die in the crisper (berRies forever), or five minutes of movement instead of signing up for “75-Hard” like Jeff Probst is about to snuff your torch.
4. Embrace the art of micro-wins.
Drank a full glass of water? Win. Didn’t give the driver who cut you off the classic Gen X one-finger salute? Win. Remembered a password on the first try? That’s elite-athlete energy — the grown-up equivalent of finally beating Street Fighter II. For women who survived dial-up, unsupervised bike rides, and waiting a whole week between 90210 episodes, these tiny victories aren’t small at all — they’re proof we’re still absolute champions at doing hard things with less.
5. Create goals that fit your energy level, not your imagined potential.
We’re not aiming for “become fluent in French” or “write a novel before spring.” We’re aiming for “master two very necessary French swear words” and “open the Google Doc without breaking into a sweat.”
6. Make failure part of the plan.
Miss a day? That’s called being human. Skip a week? That’s called January in Canada. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s persistence without self-loathing and giving yourself enough grace to start again without the dramatic inner monologue. And for the record, no one at the gym is judging you for disappearing for a few weeks — they’re too busy surviving winter themselves.
7. Outsmart your future self by choosing resolutions that can’t be measured.
“Be kinder to myself.” ✔️
“Find joy in small things.” ✔️
“No one can tell if you’re succeeding or not, which makes this incredibly sustainable.” ✔️✔️✔️
8. If your resolution requires a cart full of stuff, throw it out (the resolution, not the cart).
You don’t need a new device, a designer water bottle, or a reboot of your personality. You need rest, community, movement you actually enjoy, and the courage to say “I’m good” when Dry January is presented as a moral quest.
9. Let 90s logic guide you.
What would your 1997 self want? More dancing. More snacks. More sleepovers with your best friends. Less worrying about productivity. Basically: Become the adult version of the girl who lived for MTV Real World Marathons.
10. Choose a theme, not a transformation.
Instead of “new year, new me,” try:
- New year, slightly better boundaries.
- New year, fewer things that make me furious.
- New year, refusing to shrink — emotionally or physically.
Themes give you wiggle room. Transformations give you anxiety.
If your only new year’s resolution this year is “be nicer to myself,” congratulations — you’ve already nailed it. Truly. Because every other goal gets easier when you stop treating yourself like a renovation project.
So here’s to a new year of realistic goals, soft starts, tiny wins, and absolutely zero self-shaming. May 2026 be the year we finally choose ease over perfection — and actually enjoy the process.
